True-isms???

Off-topic discussions about everything else
Karter
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Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2004 4:07 am
Location: Portland, Oregon
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True-isms???

Postby Karter » Thu Jun 03, 2010 7:18 pm

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

�1.. Sag, you're It.
�2. Hide and go pee.
�3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
�4. Kick the bucket
�5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
�6. Musical recliners.
�7. Simon says - something incoherent.
�8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE :

�1.. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
�2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
�3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

�1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
�2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go a long.
�3. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today
�4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
�5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Thoughts for the weekend:

�Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr- Alt- Delete' and start all over?
�If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called 'labor!'
�Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Ponderisms

�I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
�Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it was a valuable plant.
�The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
�Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
�In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
�How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
�Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
�Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'
�Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

But Most Of All, Remember!

�A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart!



Never take life seriously.. Nobody gets out alive anyway!


;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

tomnobles
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Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 12:01 am
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Postby tomnobles » Fri Jun 04, 2010 1:46 am

Now, that's neat!

PantherX
Posts: 1113
Joined: Mon Nov 27, 2006 7:00 am
Location: The Beautiful Monterey Bay California

Postby PantherX » Thu Jun 10, 2010 3:25 am

agreed!
:cool:


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